Teacher Dedication

Cloudy Visions
Misled Missions
Unguided Turns
Lead to fresh knowledge to Learn
Some won't have that WILL to Live
But I will always have the DESIRE TO GIVE
All those most precious moments
Are left twisted and bent

So?

"What happened to our Teachers?"
All those realist and scholastic preachers
It wasn't JUST the addition
Nor JUST the subtraction!!
It is simply just 'Educating our Future'
IT IS ALL ABOUT THE FUTURE!!
People!!!! Don't give up on us!!!
Teaching our children is a must.

Remember!?
The everyday experience,
the chemistry experiments,
the me, myself, and I biographies,
the dissected frog in biology,
that Shakespeare moment in literature,
and can't wait to ACT IT OUT in theatre,
Band & Choir rehearsal,
finding hidden talent so natural!!
And lets no forget to stay in shape,
or you'll do 5 laps in P.E. if you're late.
OH YES!!  RECESS!!
Lunch time was always the best.

If and only if those days could last,
you'll one day wish they never went so fast!!

So,

Why don't 'they' take advantage?
And realize sooner the gifts they've been granted.
Before it is lost in their minds and then faded,
expand their brains 'til they can't take it.

God given dreams
Flowing through school halls like small streams.
Bless those who are willing to guide,
Surfacing raw potential that hides!
Please bless those bright & intelligent creatures.
Those whom help create us; OUR TEACHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Mermaid Dream

I used to have this dream of me swimming in the ocean alongside dolphins.  It’s more like flying in water; gliding on waves.   The water feels like silk upon my skin, cool and calming with each stroke; like I could become a part of the water if I just swam faster.  As I watch and follow the dolphins, I could see concern and urgency on their little faces.  Yes they had faces, individual and very distinct faces; worry was among them and they were rushing me to the shore of some unfamiliar land.  I smell the ocean water and taste salt in this dream; making it one very strong memory over the years.   

There’s a sensual flow shivering down inside me with every stroke.  Small splashes followed with whispering Waves kissing my face repeatedly while aquatic rhythms surround my tread; sighs with ‘whoshing’ sounds respond to my every thrust; surprisingly seducing me with passionate wet wonders.  I have yet to feel so much overwhelming sensuality and passion in real life.  In this fantasy I could drown or suffocate in pure and never-exaggerated intimacy of the sea.  Fluttering and flinging my legs, bobbing my head back and forth and up and down, breathing in and out; basking in the spirit of the water.   The realization settles once I breathe while going under to explore the water-life beneath and notice I no longer have feet….Mermaidian!

I become eager to explore and play.  But the serious and demanding dolphins gather around closer,  “There is no more life for you here!  You must get there on time.  He is drowning; he is waiting to be saved and then he will save you!”  They actually talk!?!?  And all at once with an actual voice, loud and clear.  I had so many questions but I had no time to ask.  Then when I get closer to land there he is, suspended in the ocean like a painting.  No life was in him!  There’s no warmth on his skin when I quickly wrap my tail around him and effortlessly push him up for air.  His face’s a blur and a hairy mess.  I put my breast tightly against his chest and tied my arms around his back and tightly squeeze and squeezed!  All the water sprayed out from his mouth onto my face and I laughed!  He screamed!  Then I awake!

~~Now this dream never made sense to me.  I always liked mermaids but never became this passionate swimmer or lifesaver.  I have noticed throughout the years that many of my dreams that I have about people are those that are close to me somehow, from co-workers to my siblings and children.  This particular dream is connected to my husband for the simple fact that he has had a recurring dream of drowning and being saved by a mermaid.  So how deep is that shit….~~#2B>> 

forgiving the past

At 12 years old I realize I couldn't live a happy and free-willing life without forgiving my most damaging past.  A past full of drugs and hate; challenging yet filled with determination; sad secrets and lingering lies that created falsehood personalities and dangled dangerous liaisons distinctively molding a geeky freak>me.
I gave in to the last straw of raw reality when My mother was high off heroin and bargaining my brand new high-top white reebox princesses to her hustleman.  It didn't bother me one bit that my favorite pair of shoes were being sold for her unstoppable habit. It did polish my emotions with steel to feel confuse, lost, and unwanted!!  When the guy walked away with my shoes and my mother went the opposite direction, I began to cry!  I wanted someone to want me or even bargain for my love.  Did she even care how I felt?  Did hustleman know how traumatizing this was going to have on me and my development?  I cried and I prayed!  The only friend, mother and father I had was in my creator> GOD!
He spoke to me easily with no hesitation.  His messages were so clear and so real>>just forgive them!  There can never be a resolution when there is anger and more anger on top of that anger.  There cant be vengeance in my heart if I wanted to be loved and forgiven myself.  I had to let go of the constant pain in order to replace it with overpowering love.  I even had to forget how terrible it felt when I begged for My Mother and she kept on walking away.  I had to forgive my father for not fighting for me..I had to recognize that those moments were small compared to the big future God had planned for me. 
HIS plans to give me what I didn't have...REAL LOVE and family.  I had to accept that shit happens and it happens to everyone for very specific reasons called life lessons.  You don't know anything about life at 25 or 35, and you have got to be around long enough to APPLY THOSE LESSONS!!  Trying to be apart of a solution involves applying the lessons to your problems. 
~~I have modeled, sang, wrote poems and stories; but living free is true art!!  ~~~I have lost my mother and father but gained a husband and beautiful kids.  ~~My entire childhood was conflicted and stress but I learned to be me and live free through forgiving and loving my closest enemy... #2B>>